Dear Somebody,
Why is it that i cannot forget you? I do not know. It’s been two months since we’ve parted ways. Our relationship meant nothing in the long run. It was a week. To be honest, you probably never even wanted to be with me; but just wanted to hookup. Fine. I wish you didn’t lead me on like that. If you did not want to date me, then you should have never asked. You didn’t know how I felt, and I didn’t expect you to. But the truth is, you fascinated me from the start. You are possibly the hottest guy in school, and the fact that you even gave me a second look meant a lot. I tried to make things work, but you didn’t want that. All the “I’m so confused” was bullshit. You just wanted out. You told me excuses to cover up the fact that you found someone better. Except she’s not, it’s just a shame that you can not see how she is playing you. But whatever, you can deal with that shit. Hope you’re happy now. Because i’m not, so at least one of us should be. There are days when I believe I am completely over you, and others when I feel like ripping out my hair from my roots. I see you multiple times with her, and it hurts. You think everything is fine, but behind every smile and hug I give you, there is pain. You don’t know how long i’ve been attracted to you. You don’t know that for all of first semester i’ve compared every guy i’ve met to you. Why? I can’t explain it. You’re actually not that special for everyone else. You are generic. You do drugs. You don’t get the best grades. Yet i’m drawn to you. All my life I always thought I was afraid of commitment becuase everytime I would be with a guy, I would panic and run. However, when I was with you, I never felt that. There was no panic. No wanting out. I just wanted you. I just wanted us. Ever since that monday when you told me we should take our seperate paths, I have not been myself. You’re always on my mind. Seeing pictures of you and her makes me want to reach for the blade. Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m not at that pathetic stage yet. Every single voice in my head is telling me to forget about you, to move on with my life. But my heart speaks a different story. I am only fifteen years old, and I’m already experiences such adult problems. But, i’m not only filled with sadness now. Anger too. At you. I feel used, like some cheap slut. It was like you we’re just flexing your muscles with me. When we first met, you told me it was very hard for you to get over a girl. Yet, after we broke up, you spent no time “grieving” or whatever. Four days later, you already had someone else. So much for caring. As much as I still want you and like you, I feel sorry for myself. That i’ve fallen for someone like you. I don’t know if you treat all the girls you’re into like that, or just me. Probably just me, becuase that’s just my luck. The only thing more pathetic than the way you treated me, is the relationship you are in at the moment. I’m not writing this to talk shit, but I will give you my opinion. As horrible as you are, you’re too good for her. I know you refuse to believe what people may say about her, but the thing is, it’s the plain truth. She can be as apologetic, nice, and fake as she wants. She is who she is. And if you like the way she is, and acts, then that just shows how low you are. You deal with her, and I hope when that all comes crashing down on you, you will finally realize what you had been putting up with for all that time. What kills me the most about this, is that I would take you back. You would tell me you’d change, and i’d believe you. Then you’d just break my heart again. But that’s out of the question, becuase you obviously don’t want me one bit. I guess this is just to inform you, of how i’m really doing. Everytime you ask me “how are you” this is exactly what I want to say. Instead, I bite my tongue, put on a smile and choke out the word “fine”. Thank you, for making me a lonely, bitter, bitch. I am eternally grateful.
Sincerely,
Rejected.
